Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Job Crank
I think from now on, whenever I get a costumer who feels insecure how they look, I'm just going to laugh at them.
Rizzmic
I am embarrassed to say that Rizzmic is my favorite class at the parks and recreation center. Yesterday, I went to Rizzmic, and before the workout my blood pressure was a high 127/70 with 60 beats per minute. 1 minute after my workout, my blood pressure was 117/66 and 71 beats per minute. Blood pressure rises and falls, I'm attributing my high blood pressure to the fact that I felt slightly sick that day, and my body was working overtime to try to make me feel better. Other than that, I'm not worried.
The class was a blast, and I had a ton of fun. I'm embarrassed to say this, but the rizzmic dance that I liked the most was Bottom of the River by Delta Rae.
I don't like the music video much, but I do love the song.
Miniature Golf Date
Sam and I had some time off together, and with that prized time, we decided to play a game of miniature golf!
After that brief escapade outside, Sam and I came back to play more video games. Jumping and playing as we did before.
Finally, our date ended to this gorgeous view of a beautiful sunset.
Groceries
1) Apple Juice (Langer)
2) Liquid Plummer
3) Dir Trade Peru Coffee
4) Big Bone for Dog
6) Baby Bella Mushrooms
7) Oakdell Large Eggs
8) La Croix sparkling water
9)Bob's Oat Bran
10) Purina
11) Lettuce Romaine
12)Herb Es Shampoo
13)Giant Puff Ball (Dog Toy)
14) Yogurt Starwberry
15) Conair Barrette
16) Purina Dog Food
Recipe for Getting Rid of Stretch Marks
http://www.healthyfoodteam.com/get-rid-of-stretch-marks-and-cellulite-forever-using-this-2-ingredient-homemade-exfoliator/
– 250g sea salt
– 250g sugar
– 100-150ml palm oil
- See more at: http://www.healthyfoodteam.com/get-rid-of-stretch-marks-and-cellulite-forever-using-this-2-ingredient-homemade-exfoliator/#sthash.O7R1bxC0.dpuf
Monday, December 28, 2015
Yay! More Junk
These are the things I bought. Every thing, but the books, added to about 21 dollars. Most of these things I got at Big Lots. I got a baby blanket as a Christmas gift for my cat, some tooth paste, a thermos, a lint roller, some hair pins and for an extra 5 dollars, I got a veggie sandwich at 5 guys. The lint roller is made of plastic and is an inherently wasteful object, the tooth paste comes in a cardboard box and I don't know much about its manufacturing, the thermos is electronic and came in a cardboard box with some plastic, the hair pins are metal and the baby blanket is polyester. As far a where these things are made, I have no clue, probably China. I know that the thermos and the baby blanket were made in China. As far as the other things, I don't know.
My Current Reading List
These are the books that I am currently reading. Of course, The Martian by Andy Weir is going the fastest, but what can I say, I have a weakness for Science Fiction.
The Drowning Man by Michael Robotham is going slowly for me, but that is only because I am so hypnotized with The Martian.
Finally, Electric Motors and COntrol Techniques is going painfully slow, but this after all is what is to be expected from a textbook. Since my reading of this book almost stopped anyway, I decided, it was time for a break from textbooks and read some fiction. I hear reading fiction cures what ails ya, or so, that is what everybody says.
Ouick Workout Update
Ok, lets so a quick workout post. I went to bootcamp today, and before my workout my blood pressure was predictably 117/ 67 with 73 beats per minute, and post my workout my blood pressure was 123/67 with 87 beats per minute. The workout move that I found most challenging was the one legged row, and of course the most interesting was some TRX move that I don't know how to describe. Anyways, my workout went pretty smooth given that my stomach has been upset for the last couple of days. So, I look forward to more workouts and maybe someday I'll take a TRX class.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Flawed Justice After a Mob Killed an Afghan Woman (Nytimes- Article)
http://nyti.ms/1Os0nPS
The video below is incredibly violent. Please do not watch the it, if you can not handle it.
For me, this video was difficult to watch, and I am hesitant to post this video here because I don't want to be reminded of it. However, I don't want to run away from certain realities of the world.
Of the commentary I read, I liked this one the most. I don't know how to properly cite this person, so excuse me on my primitive copying.
"Contrary to what the article claims, this has NOT always been the norm in Afghanistan. I lived there in the 1970s and half my family is from there, and such a scene would have been unimaginable back then.
This is what happens after 35 years of war, which began with the appalling Soviet invasion in 1979. The intelligentsia flees, and in Afghanistan, as in many poor country, there are almost only two classes: the elite and the poor. No real middle class. Once the educated, professionally experienced leave the scene, the country is delivered to the poor, which is where the religious fanatics are. You now have a huge mass of Afghans in the country who are illiterate, uneducated, destitute, radically religious, highly traditional, and misogynistic.
In the 1970s, women with any social standing happily walked around without a veil, let alone the chaderi (the Afghan burka, usually blue), and the student body of Kabul University was 50% female. Things were moving forward.
To this day I curse the Russians for blowing up that country, and I chastise the US for ending the Cold War on the back of a poor people by providing just enough military support to held the war drag on until the Soviets were bled out and left, defeated. The US deliberately did this and has not hidden that fact. The priority was to destroy the Russians and we did so at the cost of the Afghan people. Then, when that was done and the nation was totally ravaged by a decade of war, we just abandoned them."
The video below is incredibly violent. Please do not watch the it, if you can not handle it.
For me, this video was difficult to watch, and I am hesitant to post this video here because I don't want to be reminded of it. However, I don't want to run away from certain realities of the world.
Of the commentary I read, I liked this one the most. I don't know how to properly cite this person, so excuse me on my primitive copying.
"Contrary to what the article claims, this has NOT always been the norm in Afghanistan. I lived there in the 1970s and half my family is from there, and such a scene would have been unimaginable back then.
This is what happens after 35 years of war, which began with the appalling Soviet invasion in 1979. The intelligentsia flees, and in Afghanistan, as in many poor country, there are almost only two classes: the elite and the poor. No real middle class. Once the educated, professionally experienced leave the scene, the country is delivered to the poor, which is where the religious fanatics are. You now have a huge mass of Afghans in the country who are illiterate, uneducated, destitute, radically religious, highly traditional, and misogynistic.
In the 1970s, women with any social standing happily walked around without a veil, let alone the chaderi (the Afghan burka, usually blue), and the student body of Kabul University was 50% female. Things were moving forward.
To this day I curse the Russians for blowing up that country, and I chastise the US for ending the Cold War on the back of a poor people by providing just enough military support to held the war drag on until the Soviets were bled out and left, defeated. The US deliberately did this and has not hidden that fact. The priority was to destroy the Russians and we did so at the cost of the Afghan people. Then, when that was done and the nation was totally ravaged by a decade of war, we just abandoned them."
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Friday, December 25, 2015
Ideas for Weird Workouts to Try (Workout Journal)
1) Kranking classes
2) Aerial Dance
3) Surfset
4) Stiletto Workout.
5) Circus Workout.
6)Pound Workout
7)Punk Rock Aerobics.
8) Rope Workouts
9) BUTI®,
10) Hoopnotica® classes
11) Mini Mountain Skiing (fake Skiing)
12) Volley Ball
13) Rock Climbing
14)Pole Dancing
15) Burlesque Dancing
Watch Out for KaF Adventures
16) Hot Yoga
17) Acro Yoga
18) Naked Yoga
19) Trampoline Classes
20) aqua cycling
21) Party Yoga
22) Parkour
23) Lightsaber fighting
24) Kangoo Jumps
25)Mud Run
26) Twerkercise
27) zuu
28) early morning rave party - the wake
29) pogo
30)backwards running
31)desk workouts
32) inverted workouts
33) surf yoga
2) Aerial Dance
3) Surfset
4) Stiletto Workout.
5) Circus Workout.
6)Pound Workout
7)Punk Rock Aerobics.
8) Rope Workouts
9) BUTI®,
10) Hoopnotica® classes
11) Mini Mountain Skiing (fake Skiing)
12) Volley Ball
13) Rock Climbing
14)Pole Dancing
15) Burlesque Dancing
Watch Out for KaF Adventures
16) Hot Yoga
17) Acro Yoga
18) Naked Yoga
19) Trampoline Classes
20) aqua cycling
21) Party Yoga
22) Parkour
23) Lightsaber fighting
24) Kangoo Jumps
25)Mud Run
26) Twerkercise
27) zuu
28) early morning rave party - the wake
29) pogo
30)backwards running
31)desk workouts
32) inverted workouts
33) surf yoga
Gifts and Consequences (Journal)
On Christmas Day, I woke up crying.
Sylvia woke me up to open gifts, but I didn't want to get up. Images of the fire, the cats who died, and the actions that were taken, haunted me on Christmas. The fire revealed how people suffer because of their own material addictions(myself included). After seeing people's stuff burnt beyond repair, and the insanity of desperately trying to preserve it; pointless gifts have been looking somewhat gross to me. Why would I give someone gift that is potentially worthless? Why would I give a gift that could add fuel to a fire? Isn't there a better way to express my love than giving out some worthless object? Opening gifts was the last thing I wanted to do.
Gift giving was not part of my life this year, and it was horrendous to think that somebody dared to give me a gift.
Anyways, I knew that Sly and the rest of my housemates wouldn't open their gifts without me. So, I got up, I wiped off my tears in the restroom, and then sat around the 4 inch tall Christmas tree.
For awhile, opening gifts was fun. I got two belts and a nerf rebelle gun. I blasted my gun all across the rooms and pretended I was a cowboy. I put both my belts on at the same time and fashionably showed myself off. Then the day progressed, and the mundane habits of a regular day started creeping forth.
I took the dog for a walk and watched TV. I binged on a anime TV series based on a video game, called Fate/ Stay Night. Hours passed as I engrossed myself with it's simple plot and gorged on delicious holiday snacks from the refrigerator.
Now, it is getting late, and it's almost time for bed. And I find that I'm crying again and now I'm angry as well. ... but you know, being lonely is just something that happens..... and you got to roll with the punches, even when you don't feel like it.
Sylvia woke me up to open gifts, but I didn't want to get up. Images of the fire, the cats who died, and the actions that were taken, haunted me on Christmas. The fire revealed how people suffer because of their own material addictions(myself included). After seeing people's stuff burnt beyond repair, and the insanity of desperately trying to preserve it; pointless gifts have been looking somewhat gross to me. Why would I give someone gift that is potentially worthless? Why would I give a gift that could add fuel to a fire? Isn't there a better way to express my love than giving out some worthless object? Opening gifts was the last thing I wanted to do.
Gift giving was not part of my life this year, and it was horrendous to think that somebody dared to give me a gift.
Anyways, I knew that Sly and the rest of my housemates wouldn't open their gifts without me. So, I got up, I wiped off my tears in the restroom, and then sat around the 4 inch tall Christmas tree.
For awhile, opening gifts was fun. I got two belts and a nerf rebelle gun. I blasted my gun all across the rooms and pretended I was a cowboy. I put both my belts on at the same time and fashionably showed myself off. Then the day progressed, and the mundane habits of a regular day started creeping forth.
I took the dog for a walk and watched TV. I binged on a anime TV series based on a video game, called Fate/ Stay Night. Hours passed as I engrossed myself with it's simple plot and gorged on delicious holiday snacks from the refrigerator.
Now, it is getting late, and it's almost time for bed. And I find that I'm crying again and now I'm angry as well. ... but you know, being lonely is just something that happens..... and you got to roll with the punches, even when you don't feel like it.
Christmas Eve with Jake (Journal)
It's 12:46am on Christmas, and I'm sitting in sparsely decorated garage with my lover's dog. I don't need to be in the garage, but the dog looked lonely. So, I decided to give the dog company.
When I first met Jake the dog, I hated him. He was loud, energetic, powerful and obnoxious. Jake never listened to anyone and would spring with his 100 pound body to break something.
Well now, I'm with Jake, and he's still big. He's obnoxious and still doesn't listen. However, when I look into his big dumb eyes, I see a caring being. I see a beast that loves with his whole heart, and I see a 2 year old, who'd give everything, just to see you smile. And so nowadays, when Jake is being obnoxious, I just find it endearing.
When I first met Jake the dog, I hated him. He was loud, energetic, powerful and obnoxious. Jake never listened to anyone and would spring with his 100 pound body to break something.
Well now, I'm with Jake, and he's still big. He's obnoxious and still doesn't listen. However, when I look into his big dumb eyes, I see a caring being. I see a beast that loves with his whole heart, and I see a 2 year old, who'd give everything, just to see you smile. And so nowadays, when Jake is being obnoxious, I just find it endearing.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
A Little Change (Journal)
I'm renaming this blog from The Coward Warrior to The Queen of Disaster, just think of it as a different chapter. I just felt like a little change, that is all.
Mt Si and the Period (Journal)
I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I hiked Mt Si Old Trail, which is about 7.4 miles with an elevation gain of 3,420 feet, and it royally kicked my ass.
I went home whimpering.
The night before, I went to bed at midnight. Then I woke up at 3:45am to drive Sam to the airport by 4:30am, so that he could celebrate the holidays with his family. After dropping my husband off at the airport, I drove to Tacoma in the hopes that I would get to the Freight House Square by 5:45am to get picked up for my Mt Si trip. I ended up arriving in Tacoma around 5:20am, and once I had turned off my car, I realized that I left my hefty jacket at home.
Realizing that this was a fatal flaw, I went wandering around downtown Tacoma in the hopes that I could buy a hoodie for 20 bucks. Of course, nothing was open that could accommodate me. I did however, find a restroom and upon using the restroom, I discovered that my period was starting.
Now sometimes, I'm a horrible woman, and I don't come prepared. And of course today, this was the case.
I went to street corner market and bought the only pads they had. When I got back to the restroom, I discovered that the pads would barely protect a 12 year old, but I used them anyway because I didn't have a choice.
I'm not sure if this is true with all women or just me, but the first day of a period can be an experience. It can either go smoothly or it can be hell on earth. If it goes badly, it can mean cramps, nausea, vomiting, dizziness and faintness. (Of course, some of the more severe experiences I haven't had since I was a college student) I knew there was a chance I was going to feel terrible but decided to go anyways. (Hey, you got to live life)
So after dealing with this, I get a call from my ride, asking where I am. I tell him, and he says he is near. I see a white car with headlights on in the parking lot, and I go to it to try to enter it. The man in the car looks at me, and his eyes grow wide. The man shakes his head. I feel foolish and sorry for the guy, who was hanging around in his car and then was harassed by some strange woman.. He probably thought I was an ugly prostitute or a robber, trying to get into his car.
Anyways, I finally find my ride, and it turns out that one of the people in the carpool has an extra fleece. I borrow it and am grateful. I quickly fall asleep.
Once at the trail head, we gear up. It's 5:45am and it is still dark outside. I put on my head lamp and rain pants. We start on the trail. It's still dark, but the first part of the trail is easy. Only the edges of the trail are covered with snow, and the trail itself is perfectly visible. As we make progress down the trail, it becomes apparent that traction is needed. I take out my microspikes. This is the first time, I've used microspikes, but I am reluctant to tell the trail leader about this for fear that she'll send me back to the car.
Going uphill on the trail is hard, I keep a steady pace, but my breathing is hard and sweat is pouring down my body. I don't feel cold, and I take my jacket off to just keep going. It's hard, and I want to stop several times, but I try to focus on my breath and just keep going.
Some of the other individuals in my party are intensely fit. They are professional hikers, climbers and scramblers, and here I am trying, to doing my first snow hike. Being the second to slowest person uphill, I try to go faster. I don't want to keep the party waiting, I pray to myself to the goddess of my legs to keep going.
By the time we come up to a higher elevation, the snow becomes deeper. It's beautiful but hard to move in the deep snow.
As we get closer to the top, I start feeling slightly dizzy and nauseous. I can't tell if I'm critically out of shape, if I'm dehydrated or if my period progressing badly. I feel bad but can't determine whether it is ok or not. I don't want to be that person in the party, who stops everyone for nothing. I don't want to be that person who destroys everybody's fun.
As the snow gets deeper and deeper, it gets harder for me to keep my footing. I start slipping ever once in awhile, but I only face plant a couple of times. We reach the top, and I need to sit down in the snow. People in the party are concerned I don't have enough insulation. I'm pretty confident that I do have enough insulation.. I get dirty glares from some of the faster people in the party. I try to ignore it.
I'm not unfamiliar with cold. I do fear cold more than anything else, but on that day, I didn't feel cold. I felt tired and weak. I had enough clothes to stay warm but not enough to sleep in the snow.
On the way down, I was the slowest. It becomes apparent to me that I'm not feeling well. Cramps start coming and going and the nausea won't go away. The down hill footing is trickier, and I go extremely slowly because I'm worried about slipping and falling. I just keep going.
At some point, it becomes obvious that something is wrong with me and I fess up that I'm dealing with cramps. Every once in awhile, I sit down because the pain is unpleasant, but realize I can't get relief until I walk off the mountain. I imagine vomit on the snow or my body lying in the fluffy white snow. I imagine falling and blood from my period, staining the ground. I keep going. I think if I truly get sick on the mountain and can't get off of it, it'll be hours before the paramedics come. But at least with all that snow, they can sled me down. If it get so bad to need that kind of help, I won't be able to afford the medical bill, so I keep walking. At all costs, I keep walking. I keep reminding myself, no matter how bad you feel, you can't stay. Only your feet can take you to safety, and so I walk.
I ran out of water and quit drinking it miles ago. When the leader sees that I'm eating fistfuls of snow. She shares her water. It helps. It helps a lot.
The walk is unbearable, but I do it. Nobody has any painkillers, and I just have to walk to get the cramps away.
Finally, we reach the cars. The walk was excruciating, but it gets done. I am grateful to be in the car. As soon as I get some painkillers , I promptly fall asleep.
I wake up. I'm at my car, I'm more articulate with sleep and wish everyone a farewell. I feel so bad about slowing everyone down, I give the driver a $20 and hope he uses it wisely.Giving him $20 means that I only have a $30 for the rest of the week.
On my way home, I drive to a Safeway. I get pads and chicken. I'm left with $15 for the rest of the week. A toddler tries to give me a cookie. I tell him that he is sweet. His mother herds him away. I must have looked like hell on earth.
I go home and flop into bed. I watch TV and am grateful to be a coach potato once more.
Healthy Blood Pressure (Workout Journal)
This Journal Entry was made on December 18th, 2015. The date that it gets posted is going to be later.
Before I went to Bootcamp on Friday, my blood pressure was 106/74bpm and after my workout, about 5 minutes and 22 seconds (because of a stretching), my blood pressure was 124/67 and 85 beats per minute. The hard exercises were the reverse crunch and the normal pushup. The fun workout was the Trx oblige crunch.
As much as I enjoy seeing my blood pressure in the normal range, it seems inaccurate to me. Either the machine is off or there is some thing off about me.
Before I went to Bootcamp on Friday, my blood pressure was 106/74bpm and after my workout, about 5 minutes and 22 seconds (because of a stretching), my blood pressure was 124/67 and 85 beats per minute. The hard exercises were the reverse crunch and the normal pushup. The fun workout was the Trx oblige crunch.
As much as I enjoy seeing my blood pressure in the normal range, it seems inaccurate to me. Either the machine is off or there is some thing off about me.
Waking Up (Journal)
You know it's bad, when your customers are sympathizing with your plight. I kept hearing people say last night, "you look exhausted", and I must have looked tired because I was not even asked to help clean last night in closing.
Today, I feel exhausted and have trouble waking up properly.
Today, I feel exhausted and have trouble waking up properly.
Time for Work (Journal- from Nov)
Driving a vomit encrusted car, I drank my morning coffee. My work clothes were nicely pressed and the blacks of my shoes were shined.
Images of the night before Crept into my head. My lover in agonizing pain, vomitting down the I-5 at 65 miles per hour.
However, the time for reminiscing was over. It was time for work.
Images of the night before Crept into my head. My lover in agonizing pain, vomitting down the I-5 at 65 miles per hour.
However, the time for reminiscing was over. It was time for work.
All I wanted was a Highlighter (journal- from October)
All I wanted was a highlighter.
My guppy died, and I wanted a highlighter. Next time, I set up an aquarium, I wanted my fish to live and in my mind, using a highlighter would organize my thoughts and make everything better.
My fish passed away at 9:00 pm , and not knowing what was open, I decided to go to the gas station.
The bright Shell logo flashed in the distance. It's eternal sign beckoning me like a siren. I came to it, like a moth to a flame.
Inside it, I roamed the bright aisles, looking for a highlighter.
At first, I couldn't find it. It was hard for me to see it. The only highlighter in the gas station was a pen. Going past the canned goods, I spotted a police officer. I know that it's irrational, but police make me nervous. My instinct is to pretend to be normal.
Even though I couldn't find my highlighter, I felt that I should buy something to look normal and not seem suspicious. After all, I didn't want to appear like I had been shoplifting.
I went to various shelves looking for something to buy, but nothing looked appealing.
As I passed the various aisles, the police officer glanced at me, and almost as if it were a knee jerk reaction, I picked up a stick of beef jerky: a meal fit for champions. Thinking that buying just a stick of jerky was dubious, I went and got myself a passion fruit Gatorade.
I took my items to the counter, and felt the eyes of the police officer stare at me. The gas station attendant could sense I was nervous or thought I was ignorant. He kept saying, you could get two of those for 3 dollars, pointing to the Gatorade, and then waited. Having the police officer breathing down my neck, it seemed like he was staring into my soul, and even though I didn't want another Gatorade, I got another drink. Then I came back, and the gas attendant pointed out that I could get two beef jerky sticks for 2 dollars, he gave me a look and waited.
Growing impatient, I felt the urge to refuse this request, but then looking back at the police officer, I decided against making a scene.
So I got begrudgingly got another jerky, and then paid for my items and left.
Pondering my own stupidity, and trying to figure out why my journey for a highlighter turned into a spending affair, I ran into a woman, whose was soaking wet from the rain.
Her chestnut brown hair was moist, and the mascara that she had put on that day had smeared across her eyes. She was wearing a red sweater, and obviously, she was cold. He arms wrapped around herself and her pale skin glistened. She asked for a ride, and feeling bad for her but also hesitant, I decided to offer her one.
As she approached my car, she told me that I was the first person to respond to her requests. That I had listened to her in her time of need. Her name was Gwen.
Anyways, I had no doubt why she didn't get a ride from anyone else, she looked like she was trouble, but I was happy to help.
I warned her that my car was messy, but she said it was ok. The rain was pouring, and it made sounds against the windshields. I could hear the wind, and for a brief moment, their was a silence between us. A silence that allowed us to hear all the elements of a storm brewing inside and outside of the car.
She requested that I take her to Jack in the Box, She had items that she had left there. Considering that Jack and the Box was only a couple of feet away, it made me feel nervous to drive there. Even in a storm, the effort of driving was more than the effort of walking, but I didn't complain, I just took Gwen to where she wanted to go.
She got out of my car and went into the Jack in the Box. When she walked out of the store with two giant purses, all I could imagine was the giant guns she could be packing in those bags. One was pink and the other bag black. They were obviously stuffed with clothes, but my shoulder flinched because I half expected for her to pull a gun on me.
Though that obviously didn't happen. She got into the car, and thanked me for the ride.
Then I asked her where I was taking her, and she said she didn't know. She had to call her friend to get an address. I told her I had no smart phone, but then she said she had a phone with a gps system. She wanted me to take notes, where the address was, and so I turned on my car light to look for a pen.
By nature, I am a slob, and the reaction of this woman was priceless. She stared around the stuff that was in my car and asked, "Is this all junk?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm a bit of a slob"
"Are you clean?"
"Yes, I'm clean. I swear. I just don't clean up my garbage."
The moment, I stopped talking. She took a plastic trash bag and started picking items up. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was throwing all this garbage away. At first, I was worried she might be stealing stuff, but then looking at my mound of trash, I realized there was nothing to steal. Earlier that day, The only thing valuable was a picture of my id, which I nervously swooped up away from her. She put everything into plastic bags and threw it all away, then and there. Not meaning to, I chuckled to myself. " I was trying to help you, and now, you're cleaning my car".
I looked for a pen. I felt around the garbage piles. I felt the backseat, and in the pocket behind the woman, I could feel my knife. I had forgotten I kept a knife there. It was 6 inches and big enough not to be legal. As Gwen cleaned and sorted through the trash, I considered sneaking the knife and placing it, in the drivers door. The image of Gwen seeing me sneak a knife behind her, having her scream and attack me in self defense played out in my mind. I decided the risk of provoking and scaring didn't necessitate the need for the knife. I knew where it was, I just wanted it close.
And Gwen, I trusted her, sort of.
After Gwen's cleaning fit had been done. I started driving her. I couldn't find a pen, and after a few awkward moments of silence, I told her just to verbally to tell me where to go. She mentioned a couple of streets. I didn't know where there were because I was new to the area, but I had a guess.
She tells me to go to Southcenter parkway Blvd. I didn't know where the street was, but I did know where the South Center mall was at. She said that I was to spot a Lovers store and behind the Lovers store, her friend was waiting for her there. Driving in that direction, rain falling and the night so dark, I could imagine driving there, stopping and a group of men coming at the car. I could imagine threats, guns, knives and being shoved out of my car.
The rain pours.
"So, how did you end up stuck?" It was none of my business. I didn't really want to know, but I asked anyway.
"Some guy I was dating left me there" I mentally blocked the image of her going to another guy.
A purple neon sign that displays Lovers is visible from the freeway.
"There it is. I see it. You can turn here"
I turned into the Lovers driveway looking for a motel. I don't see a motel. I only see darkness and parking lot. Needles start to hit my stomach.
"Is this where I am supposed to take you?"
"It's here somewhere. It's got to be"
I drive around some more, looming in the darkness. Gwen points out an extended stay. She has me drive around the parking lot a few times. She says she's looking for her car.
She repeats the numbers of a door, over and over to herself. "231, 231", she mutters. Anxiety pressed across her face.
She gives up on looking, but finally she sees the friend that she was looking for. She points to a character who is only a silhouette in the shadows of the night. All I can make out is his baseball cap. I drop her off at the parking lot, I feel that I should drop her off closer to the door, but she seems ready to go. I see her friend lurking in the distance. I try to be warm and affectionate, and consider offering her my extra Gatorade and beef jerky. But I want her out of the car. I don't want to meet her friend, whose far away presence makes me stir. And being grateful that she didn't lead me into a trap, I am happy to give her the help.
After the car door slams, I try to remember what I was doing.
Oh yeah, I wanted a highlighter. It's dark and I look at my clock. It's midnight. It's insane to look for a highlighter so late at night. I consider going to Walmart but don't know how to get there. Figuring my husband is home, I decided against a big long escapade. I go home defeated.
All I wanted was a Highlighter.
"Don't worry.", I tell myself. "There's always morning"
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