Sylvia woke me up to open gifts, but I didn't want to get up. Images of the fire, the cats who died, and the actions that were taken, haunted me on Christmas. The fire revealed how people suffer because of their own material addictions(myself included). After seeing people's stuff burnt beyond repair, and the insanity of desperately trying to preserve it; pointless gifts have been looking somewhat gross to me. Why would I give someone gift that is potentially worthless? Why would I give a gift that could add fuel to a fire? Isn't there a better way to express my love than giving out some worthless object? Opening gifts was the last thing I wanted to do.
Gift giving was not part of my life this year, and it was horrendous to think that somebody dared to give me a gift.
Anyways, I knew that Sly and the rest of my housemates wouldn't open their gifts without me. So, I got up, I wiped off my tears in the restroom, and then sat around the 4 inch tall Christmas tree.
For awhile, opening gifts was fun. I got two belts and a nerf rebelle gun. I blasted my gun all across the rooms and pretended I was a cowboy. I put both my belts on at the same time and fashionably showed myself off. Then the day progressed, and the mundane habits of a regular day started creeping forth.
I took the dog for a walk and watched TV. I binged on a anime TV series based on a video game, called Fate/ Stay Night. Hours passed as I engrossed myself with it's simple plot and gorged on delicious holiday snacks from the refrigerator.
Now, it is getting late, and it's almost time for bed. And I find that I'm crying again and now I'm angry as well. ... but you know, being lonely is just something that happens..... and you got to roll with the punches, even when you don't feel like it.
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