Sunday, January 31, 2016
Fantastic... an orchestra playing along with a cat playing piano.
Posted by Thomas Barrett on Saturday, July 5, 2014
The days 日 ( ri / rì )
Phew, I'm tired.
I thought I was going to have energy to go Salsa dancing after work, but I don't. Tuesday night, I want to Tango at the Century Ballroom. Though, I've been relatively optimistic about what I can do.
Let me try to recall all the things that happened in the last couple of days.
Yesterday, I went to the Community Pool for the first time, and it was nice to find a cheap spot to go swimming on the regular. In the future, I'd like to take a swimming class because my ability to swim efficiently is less than ideal. For now, I'm just going to try to do laps and hope that I don't drown.
I noticed that if you try to keep your body straight, while doing freestyle swimming, it takes a lot less energy. However, I still do not know how to swim and breath. But hey, breathing, how important can that be?
After swimming, I finished the book Ready to Run by Dr Kelly Starrett, which made me feel intensely guilty about my lifestyle. The guy wants a commitment of 10 minutes a day to do mobilizations. Man, talk about commitment. I can barely find the commitment to devote 1 minute a day to cleaning, let alone 10 minutes of muscle numbing commitment. He says that after 28 days, it'll become a habit, but I just feel like it's too much too fast. I need time to explore and adjust because discipline or anything that seems remotely responsible is just not my game.
However, I think Dr. Kelly is right. Mobilizations will improve my ability to go outside and do things. So instead of leaping into bed with mobilizations, I'm going to take it slow. Instead of thinking of it as a type of chore, I'm going to think of it as a type of 'date'. I'm going to date this concept of mobilizations for a week and see where I want it to go from there. Tomorrow, I'm going to generate a clearer concept of what kind of date I want to go on.
After my guilt fest, I cleaned the room. I know I promised myself that I wouldn't do responsible things, but it made Sam so happy in the end. The whole time I was cleaning, I had to fight delusions that Char and the house were responsible for my downfall as a housewife. When I clean, my head turns wacky. I just don't like cleaning.
Once the room was made spotless, I tried to play volleyball at the local sandbox. However, I have never played volleyball, and I was too shy to push my way onto a volleyball team, only to find out that I can hit the ball. So, I watched from the sidelines and looked longingly in, wishing that Sam was around to be awesome and hairy. I even had a fantasy about it, and it goes something like thing.
Long haired Sam comes into the tourment with open hawwian shirt that shows off his broad shoulders and chest hair. He wears tye dye shorts and and with his confident posture, everyone steps aside to let us pass. With his golden flowing hair, he strikes the ball, we are celebrated as heroes and walk off into the moonlight with a weirdo sunglasses on.
Once I was done with my failure of volleyball, I tried to ease my social anxiety by taking a quick few mile job. Originally it was times, but I kept cramping up on my right side and left knee. I figure, my hips are to blame??
Then after all that nonsense, I showed Sam the room. He was greatly pleased and I went on a date with Mat. That was pretty much the end of my night.
Today, I woke up and went to work. I was groggy all day and kept confusing prices. My sales was great and my mistakes were high. Everyone at work acted weird because they know I'm on my way out. However, that's life and Picture People is a dead end. I got to move on.
I hope I don't regret it.
I thought I was going to have energy to go Salsa dancing after work, but I don't. Tuesday night, I want to Tango at the Century Ballroom. Though, I've been relatively optimistic about what I can do.
Let me try to recall all the things that happened in the last couple of days.
Yesterday, I went to the Community Pool for the first time, and it was nice to find a cheap spot to go swimming on the regular. In the future, I'd like to take a swimming class because my ability to swim efficiently is less than ideal. For now, I'm just going to try to do laps and hope that I don't drown.
I noticed that if you try to keep your body straight, while doing freestyle swimming, it takes a lot less energy. However, I still do not know how to swim and breath. But hey, breathing, how important can that be?
After swimming, I finished the book Ready to Run by Dr Kelly Starrett, which made me feel intensely guilty about my lifestyle. The guy wants a commitment of 10 minutes a day to do mobilizations. Man, talk about commitment. I can barely find the commitment to devote 1 minute a day to cleaning, let alone 10 minutes of muscle numbing commitment. He says that after 28 days, it'll become a habit, but I just feel like it's too much too fast. I need time to explore and adjust because discipline or anything that seems remotely responsible is just not my game.
However, I think Dr. Kelly is right. Mobilizations will improve my ability to go outside and do things. So instead of leaping into bed with mobilizations, I'm going to take it slow. Instead of thinking of it as a type of chore, I'm going to think of it as a type of 'date'. I'm going to date this concept of mobilizations for a week and see where I want it to go from there. Tomorrow, I'm going to generate a clearer concept of what kind of date I want to go on.
After my guilt fest, I cleaned the room. I know I promised myself that I wouldn't do responsible things, but it made Sam so happy in the end. The whole time I was cleaning, I had to fight delusions that Char and the house were responsible for my downfall as a housewife. When I clean, my head turns wacky. I just don't like cleaning.
Once the room was made spotless, I tried to play volleyball at the local sandbox. However, I have never played volleyball, and I was too shy to push my way onto a volleyball team, only to find out that I can hit the ball. So, I watched from the sidelines and looked longingly in, wishing that Sam was around to be awesome and hairy. I even had a fantasy about it, and it goes something like thing.
Long haired Sam comes into the tourment with open hawwian shirt that shows off his broad shoulders and chest hair. He wears tye dye shorts and and with his confident posture, everyone steps aside to let us pass. With his golden flowing hair, he strikes the ball, we are celebrated as heroes and walk off into the moonlight with a weirdo sunglasses on.
Once I was done with my failure of volleyball, I tried to ease my social anxiety by taking a quick few mile job. Originally it was times, but I kept cramping up on my right side and left knee. I figure, my hips are to blame??
Then after all that nonsense, I showed Sam the room. He was greatly pleased and I went on a date with Mat. That was pretty much the end of my night.
Today, I woke up and went to work. I was groggy all day and kept confusing prices. My sales was great and my mistakes were high. Everyone at work acted weird because they know I'm on my way out. However, that's life and Picture People is a dead end. I got to move on.
I hope I don't regret it.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Flashback Friday: Breasts don’t just bounce; they do figure-eights. - Seriously, Science?
Flashback Friday: Breasts don’t just bounce; they do figure-eights. - Seriously, Science?: For this week’s Flashback Friday, we’re revisiting a post from the old NCBI ROFL blog. Back in the day we were mostly writing for our fellow scientists, so we simply posted the abstract of the research article and let our readers make of it what they would. Although the result was was hit or miss with our …
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Goal- 血压 ( xueya / xuèyā )
I haven't been good about writing down my workouts. I've been working out but forgot what I did. To be honest, I've been writing details of my workouts on scrap pieces of paper and then littering the floor with those pieces. My floor is currently covered in paper, just like a hamster cage.
One way I motivate myself to workout, without Sam, is to measure my blood pressure before and after my workouts. It's a nice ritual to do, and strangely enough, my curiosity of what the numbers might say, motivates me to go. The Parks and Recreation Center is the only gym that has a blood pressure machine. One day, I want to have my own blood pressure machine, but for now, I'm just going to use what I can get.
Anyways, I have a new solid goal for myself. I want to keep my baseline systolic blood pressure below 120 hg mm, and I want to keep my diastolic somewhere around 70 Hg mm. Of course my blood pressure will rise and fall, but when I'm resting, I want my blood pressure below 120 Hg mm.
Why this new goal? I think my blood pressure accurately reflects my level of stress. No matter how much I try to repress my conscious feelings of stress, my blood pressure and heart rate go up. They don't lie. I do.
I tell myself I'm not stressed, but when I look at the numbers, I know I'm talking bullshit to myself.
So whatever crazy adventure I go on next, I have an active goal of trying to keep my blood pressure low.
I think by monitoring my blood pressure and responding to it, I can become more functional. (This goal is more important to me than finding a life long career and has a little bit to to with my theory on autistic development, but all that ranting is for a different day )
I took the 124 Bus to Seattle. Sadly, I didn't make it to the Job Fair that I was trying to get to, but I did get the chance to help out a man in a wheel chair. He dropped his groceries and needed help collecting his food. When I was helping him packing groceries, it was apparent that his grocery bag had broke. He asked me to walk him home. Of course, I said, "yes".
Then there was an awkward silence, as I expected him to roll beside me.
He looked at me and said, "That means you have to push me"
I chucked, "Oh yes, I suppose your hands are full of groceries".
It was at that moment that I realized how incredibly, insensitive I am to physically disabled. Of course, I don't deliberately mean to be insensitive, I just don't know many physically crippled people. That's fucked up.
Anyways, I took the man to his apartment, and it was cramped but beautiful. It was crammed with gorgeous orchids, tropical plants and food containers. It was a truly exceptional experience meeting that man. Too bad that I never asked him for his name. All in all, it was a pretty good day.
today numbers
114/69 59 (before workout)
116/70 64 (after mixfit)
118/ 75 70 (after Rizzmic)
http://dictionary.hantrainerpro.com/chinese-english/translation-xueya_bloodpress.htm
One way I motivate myself to workout, without Sam, is to measure my blood pressure before and after my workouts. It's a nice ritual to do, and strangely enough, my curiosity of what the numbers might say, motivates me to go. The Parks and Recreation Center is the only gym that has a blood pressure machine. One day, I want to have my own blood pressure machine, but for now, I'm just going to use what I can get.
Anyways, I have a new solid goal for myself. I want to keep my baseline systolic blood pressure below 120 hg mm, and I want to keep my diastolic somewhere around 70 Hg mm. Of course my blood pressure will rise and fall, but when I'm resting, I want my blood pressure below 120 Hg mm.
Why this new goal? I think my blood pressure accurately reflects my level of stress. No matter how much I try to repress my conscious feelings of stress, my blood pressure and heart rate go up. They don't lie. I do.
I tell myself I'm not stressed, but when I look at the numbers, I know I'm talking bullshit to myself.
So whatever crazy adventure I go on next, I have an active goal of trying to keep my blood pressure low.
I think by monitoring my blood pressure and responding to it, I can become more functional. (This goal is more important to me than finding a life long career and has a little bit to to with my theory on autistic development, but all that ranting is for a different day )
I took the 124 Bus to Seattle. Sadly, I didn't make it to the Job Fair that I was trying to get to, but I did get the chance to help out a man in a wheel chair. He dropped his groceries and needed help collecting his food. When I was helping him packing groceries, it was apparent that his grocery bag had broke. He asked me to walk him home. Of course, I said, "yes".
Then there was an awkward silence, as I expected him to roll beside me.
He looked at me and said, "That means you have to push me"
I chucked, "Oh yes, I suppose your hands are full of groceries".
It was at that moment that I realized how incredibly, insensitive I am to physically disabled. Of course, I don't deliberately mean to be insensitive, I just don't know many physically crippled people. That's fucked up.
Anyways, I took the man to his apartment, and it was cramped but beautiful. It was crammed with gorgeous orchids, tropical plants and food containers. It was a truly exceptional experience meeting that man. Too bad that I never asked him for his name. All in all, it was a pretty good day.
today numbers
114/69 59 (before workout)
116/70 64 (after mixfit)
118/ 75 70 (after Rizzmic)
http://dictionary.hantrainerpro.com/chinese-english/translation-xueya_bloodpress.htm
Rule #1 Don't Stay at Home, You Don't Belong There-家 (jiā)
I love my husband and my household, but I'm not a home-body. If I stay at home for too long, I panic. I fantasize that I'm a modern housewife, who is trapped at home with my husband's dirty laundry and a boatload of dishes to do. This panic takes on many forms.
I'll get mad at Char for asking me to wash the towels, I'll call Sam insensitive or I just won't get out of bed. The worst is when I start yelling and crying. I'll get upset for no reason and then storm out. In general, I start acting out or not moving.
From years of experience, I know that I need an active life outside the household to be happy. I don't value cleaning and having experiences in the outside world means everything to me. So in the long run, I'd rather be homeless than a housewife.
It's important that I don't panic about the prospect of being a house wife. I don't want to be a house wife, so I won't. I'm not good at making a living, but I'll put myself somewhere because that's what I do.
家 (jiā) -The Chinese character shows a pig under a roof.
豕 宀
Shǐ Miān
Pig Roof
(Source: http://mandarin.about.com/od/characters/a/profile-jia.htm)
I'll get mad at Char for asking me to wash the towels, I'll call Sam insensitive or I just won't get out of bed. The worst is when I start yelling and crying. I'll get upset for no reason and then storm out. In general, I start acting out or not moving.
From years of experience, I know that I need an active life outside the household to be happy. I don't value cleaning and having experiences in the outside world means everything to me. So in the long run, I'd rather be homeless than a housewife.
It's important that I don't panic about the prospect of being a house wife. I don't want to be a house wife, so I won't. I'm not good at making a living, but I'll put myself somewhere because that's what I do.
豕 宀
Shǐ Miān
Pig Roof
(Source: http://mandarin.about.com/od/characters/a/profile-jia.htm)
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Two Weeks Notice and Stressed 压力很大 (a lot of pressure)
Today, I gave my two weeks notice to Picture People. I feel so nervous about it, and as nerdy as this sounds, my blood pressure has been high all night. I tried jogging some of the nervousness out of my system, but I eventually found my way in front of the TV, bingeing on Futurama.
Now, I'm waiting for my husband to come home with my housemate Edward, after an evening of going to the Opera together. They are currently watching the Opera masterpiece The Marriage of Figaro. McCaw Hall :: The Marriage of Figaro
(Source Image: http://www.mccawhall.com/assets/img/Brand_SO_Figaro.jpg)
Urg, right now, I have a unhealthy addiction to Futurama. So in response to uncertain futures, I give you the song below.
Futurama in the year 105105 time machine song from John Smith on Vimeo.
Now, I'm waiting for my husband to come home with my housemate Edward, after an evening of going to the Opera together. They are currently watching the Opera masterpiece The Marriage of Figaro. McCaw Hall :: The Marriage of Figaro
Urg, right now, I have a unhealthy addiction to Futurama. So in response to uncertain futures, I give you the song below.
Futurama in the year 105105 time machine song from John Smith on Vimeo.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Turning Air into Drinking Water
Here is a self-filling water bottle that turns air into drinking water.
Posted by Hashem Al-Ghaili on Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Futurama - The Sting
(image source: http://www.toptenz.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/the-sting.jpg)
Needing a Little Rest-- 休息 ( xiuxi / xiūxi )-- to rest
The day before yesterday, I went snowshoeing at Paradise on Mt Rainier. It was my first time snowshoeing, and I had a fabulous time.
Despite telling myself that I wouldn't pack at the last minute, it happened anyway, and again, it was a miracle that I could make the event at all. However I did make it, and as I was snowshoeing, I discovered that my jacket was of inferior quality. When I took my jacket off, it had soaked through. Also my gloves, they soaked through too.
Next time, I go out into the snow I have to go with an upgraded wardrobe. The snow at Mt Rainier was surprisingly deep, and I wasn't expecting it to be so intense. I guess, I'm learning what to expect from snow.
Now I have a cough, and I hate to admit it, but it's my fault. I slept for 14 hours after work yesterday, and today I've been relaxing because frankly, I need the rest today. (P)
外套 ( waitao / wàitào ) -- Jacket
Despite telling myself that I wouldn't pack at the last minute, it happened anyway, and again, it was a miracle that I could make the event at all. However I did make it, and as I was snowshoeing, I discovered that my jacket was of inferior quality. When I took my jacket off, it had soaked through. Also my gloves, they soaked through too.
Next time, I go out into the snow I have to go with an upgraded wardrobe. The snow at Mt Rainier was surprisingly deep, and I wasn't expecting it to be so intense. I guess, I'm learning what to expect from snow.
Now I have a cough, and I hate to admit it, but it's my fault. I slept for 14 hours after work yesterday, and today I've been relaxing because frankly, I need the rest today. (P)
外套 ( waitao / wàitào ) -- Jacket
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
The Last Days
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The Revenant
(Image Source: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5yuCSZqK5Hha5lElqZr2SCYVY-sYycKZ8PJ8POfNQkOmSuo5B)
Urg, that movie was beautiful but so long.
I've got 99 Problems
I posted these two videos because I came back from vacation, and I've got problems. My love life is fantastic, but everything else is screwed, so I'm going to list my problems out and see how I can fix them.
Work
Need to find work. Current job is too low paying and doesn't have enough hours to pay my bills. In late February, I'm going to try a Welding Intensive, designed to introduce women to the metal working trades. On Feb 26th, I'm going for a Day Intensive. Monday, March 21 to Friday, March 25, 2016 I'm going on a week long intensive. I'm also keeping my eye out for the ADA programming Academy. I'm waiting for them to accept applications.
Bills- Shit that has to get paid
Need to pay 100 to the household for last month's rent
Need rent for this next month (Feb)
Need rent for (March)
Need to get a copy of my auto registration
Need to pay health insurance
Got to make sure I'm set up to HI
Living Expenses
Get Money for Gas/ Transportation
Bills-Extra-
Need to Save for Iceland - Sam bought tickets. My minimum estimation is 2grand per person.
Need to get gift for Wen
Mountaineers membership is due in March
Money for Trips -like snowshoeing
If you Have the extra cash
- Get Lia a Groupon to Hoop Class or something interesting in the Bay Area
-Get Daniel a Groupon to Something in Exeter
Planning
Plan out Snowshoeing trip this weekend.
Plan out Trip to the Elwha in Feb.
Plan out Iceland trip
and plan out the other mountaineer Tacoma classes.
Clean
Clean Sam's Room
Clean the Car
That is most of it. I have some lifestyle alterations I need to make, but that is more complicated. ....
Monday, January 18, 2016
Six-Legged Giant Finds Secret Hideaway, Hides For 80 Years (NPR)
http://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2012/02/24/147367644/six-legged-giant-finds-secret-hideaway-hides-for-80-years?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160117
(Image Source: http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2012/02/24/balls_pyramid-e0228ecb378de54502cc99b9a5ef787d9f6a3ab4-s800-c85.jpg)
Saturday, January 16, 2016
In pitiful animal die-offs across the globe — from antelopes to bees to seabirds — climate change may be culprit (Washington Post)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/01/13/how-climate-change-could-be-contributing-to-animal-die-offs/
(Image Source: https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_908w/2010-2019/Wires/Images/2016-01-12/AP/Alaska_Bird_Deaths-08865.jpg&w=1484)
More
Today was better. My brother was nicer and Wen, my nephew, was a big sweetheart. We went to the aquarium, then went shopping for Wen's clothes. Then later, my brother and I watched Star Wars together.
I had a lot of fun watching Star Wars, and for the first time when we were alone, it seemed that my brother relaxed. I don't know what my brother wants from my companionship, but it seems like he is seeking out something between us. Maybe he wants me to ease his pain?
I know his life is painful. I don' know the full extent of his pain, and frankly, I don't want all the technical details of his pain. I know his choices left him with a lot of bills and a family to provide for. I know he loves his family but doesn't get much in return. He feels stuck and unappreciated. He agonizes over being fat. He agonizes to such an extent that the mental sickness is worse than any physical ailment.
I don't think my brother understands that if he is going to get the things he wants, he needs to change, both physically and mentally. If he wants to be healthy, he can't agonize and suffer mentally.
I wanted to workout with him because I think the post workout chemistry would help him to relax and think clearly. It's my only effective technique for clearing up my own mood. I think if he moved, he'd enjoy it. I think moving would make him eat better and help regulate his appetite. It might not make him skinny, but I don't think he'd suffer as much. I know that on average, I don't suffer as much, regardless of what I look like.
And then today, I've been mulling over Daniel's commentary and although, I don't want to listen to most of it. Maybe he has a point? Maybe I do need to change more than I am. Maybe I'm not living as fully as I should? My current job is pretty sedentary and perhaps, I need to keep searching and live a little better.
I had a lot of fun watching Star Wars, and for the first time when we were alone, it seemed that my brother relaxed. I don't know what my brother wants from my companionship, but it seems like he is seeking out something between us. Maybe he wants me to ease his pain?
I know his life is painful. I don' know the full extent of his pain, and frankly, I don't want all the technical details of his pain. I know his choices left him with a lot of bills and a family to provide for. I know he loves his family but doesn't get much in return. He feels stuck and unappreciated. He agonizes over being fat. He agonizes to such an extent that the mental sickness is worse than any physical ailment.
I don't think my brother understands that if he is going to get the things he wants, he needs to change, both physically and mentally. If he wants to be healthy, he can't agonize and suffer mentally.
I wanted to workout with him because I think the post workout chemistry would help him to relax and think clearly. It's my only effective technique for clearing up my own mood. I think if he moved, he'd enjoy it. I think moving would make him eat better and help regulate his appetite. It might not make him skinny, but I don't think he'd suffer as much. I know that on average, I don't suffer as much, regardless of what I look like.
And then today, I've been mulling over Daniel's commentary and although, I don't want to listen to most of it. Maybe he has a point? Maybe I do need to change more than I am. Maybe I'm not living as fully as I should? My current job is pretty sedentary and perhaps, I need to keep searching and live a little better.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Fat Hate
I'm upset.
I love my older brother, but he's hurtful. He provides the fuel for self-hate and then disguises this insanity as health related advice.
Ever since he picked me up from the bus station, my brother been harping on me for being fat. Every fuckin' time he feels insecure, he fucking tells me that I'm fat.
We went to a burger joint together, and then he says, "You know, once you hit 30 and are still fat, you'll never have any hope of being in shape." And goes on " You have to spend all your money now on getting in shape. Nothing else matters, nothing. Quit everything and lose weight"
I ask him, "How am I supposed to spend my money? Being fat is not the kind of problem you can buy your way out of. It's a lifestyle change"
Somehow I tell my brother that my husband is a cook, and it's a good thing. He suggests that it's bad, and I tell him,"I know the importance of exercise, and I'm on it. I'm exercising and Sam being a cook doesn't hurt me. In fact, his education is helping me identify which foods are real and which ones are not."
My brother goes on, "Well, Margaret (my mom) spent hours on Christmas complaining how fat you are and cried several times on your behalf."
So now, I'm going to interlude with a rant.
I wasn't around for the holidays because I was working. I don't doubt what he said was true, but my mom can be nuts. I'm not mad at her-- But frankly, I'm hurt that with all that I've been through this year-- such as having my house burn down and leaving the electrical union, that my fatness is the issue. Where is the love? Where is the compassion for my feelings? I feel so alone and unloved. And your telling me to lose weight? It's no wonder I'm isolating myself from my family. It's not wonder that I didn't ask for anything for the fire or even told my family that I was even around a fire. It's no wonder, I barely ask help from anyone and maybe this is why,-- I don't want to be an object of shame. If your not here to provide some supportive help and compassion, then leave me the fuck alone.
Anyways, that thought aside, the day continues.
I try to convince my older brother to go to a fitness class, saying it will be fun, and I truly believe it. Going to yoga, rumba or something, it would be a blast with my brother. But since I've hardly ever been to Exeter, NH, I can't say where these places are and when my brother shows no interest, the issue dies. My brother thinks I was just calling him fat. If I wanted to hurt him, I'd call him fat but that's not what I want. I want him to play with me, to be goofy and be that older brother who I remember as a kid. The one who went to China, brought me scarves and told me of all his crazy adventures. I want the older brother who used to sing me goofy songs to cheer me up when I was sad. I want the older brother who feels secure about who is is and doesn't feel the need for more. No, I want him to exercise with me, so that we can play and both feel better. But he's so fuckin' insecure about who he is and what his weight is, that he doesn't understand, I don't care. I want him to be healthy, but when he puts me down, I don't see him as the same person anymore.
The day continues, and at random times in the day, he mentions my fatness.
Later we go to a pizza place. I'm not hungry because my fuckin' brother has been calling me fat all day, and then after calling me fat, he offers me pizza. But since I don't know where I am, I don't have a choice in the matter, and I go where he takes me. He buys two pizzas. I eat some. He eats some, but when he's hungry and wants more, instead of just taking a slice, he makes me eat pizza, so that he can feel better about eating his own slice of pizza.
So, we don't do any exercise, eat two big meals and then later at night, we watch TV.
I'm pissed. I was called fat all day and was not given any healthy options. I spent 12 hours of not moving on a plane to go see him, and when I get to his house, he treats me badly. Together, we watch the GO PRO station, which is just one endless GO PRO commercial. He then talks about how we are too fat to do any of the things we see.
He makes me sick, and I freakin' hate GO PRO.
Go Pro can take their shitty, low- resolution cameras and shove it up their own butt-holes
I love my older brother, but he's hurtful. He provides the fuel for self-hate and then disguises this insanity as health related advice.
Ever since he picked me up from the bus station, my brother been harping on me for being fat. Every fuckin' time he feels insecure, he fucking tells me that I'm fat.
We went to a burger joint together, and then he says, "You know, once you hit 30 and are still fat, you'll never have any hope of being in shape." And goes on " You have to spend all your money now on getting in shape. Nothing else matters, nothing. Quit everything and lose weight"
I ask him, "How am I supposed to spend my money? Being fat is not the kind of problem you can buy your way out of. It's a lifestyle change"
Somehow I tell my brother that my husband is a cook, and it's a good thing. He suggests that it's bad, and I tell him,"I know the importance of exercise, and I'm on it. I'm exercising and Sam being a cook doesn't hurt me. In fact, his education is helping me identify which foods are real and which ones are not."
My brother goes on, "Well, Margaret (my mom) spent hours on Christmas complaining how fat you are and cried several times on your behalf."
So now, I'm going to interlude with a rant.
I wasn't around for the holidays because I was working. I don't doubt what he said was true, but my mom can be nuts. I'm not mad at her-- But frankly, I'm hurt that with all that I've been through this year-- such as having my house burn down and leaving the electrical union, that my fatness is the issue. Where is the love? Where is the compassion for my feelings? I feel so alone and unloved. And your telling me to lose weight? It's no wonder I'm isolating myself from my family. It's not wonder that I didn't ask for anything for the fire or even told my family that I was even around a fire. It's no wonder, I barely ask help from anyone and maybe this is why,-- I don't want to be an object of shame. If your not here to provide some supportive help and compassion, then leave me the fuck alone.
Anyways, that thought aside, the day continues.
I try to convince my older brother to go to a fitness class, saying it will be fun, and I truly believe it. Going to yoga, rumba or something, it would be a blast with my brother. But since I've hardly ever been to Exeter, NH, I can't say where these places are and when my brother shows no interest, the issue dies. My brother thinks I was just calling him fat. If I wanted to hurt him, I'd call him fat but that's not what I want. I want him to play with me, to be goofy and be that older brother who I remember as a kid. The one who went to China, brought me scarves and told me of all his crazy adventures. I want the older brother who used to sing me goofy songs to cheer me up when I was sad. I want the older brother who feels secure about who is is and doesn't feel the need for more. No, I want him to exercise with me, so that we can play and both feel better. But he's so fuckin' insecure about who he is and what his weight is, that he doesn't understand, I don't care. I want him to be healthy, but when he puts me down, I don't see him as the same person anymore.
The day continues, and at random times in the day, he mentions my fatness.
Later we go to a pizza place. I'm not hungry because my fuckin' brother has been calling me fat all day, and then after calling me fat, he offers me pizza. But since I don't know where I am, I don't have a choice in the matter, and I go where he takes me. He buys two pizzas. I eat some. He eats some, but when he's hungry and wants more, instead of just taking a slice, he makes me eat pizza, so that he can feel better about eating his own slice of pizza.
So, we don't do any exercise, eat two big meals and then later at night, we watch TV.
I'm pissed. I was called fat all day and was not given any healthy options. I spent 12 hours of not moving on a plane to go see him, and when I get to his house, he treats me badly. Together, we watch the GO PRO station, which is just one endless GO PRO commercial. He then talks about how we are too fat to do any of the things we see.
He makes me sick, and I freakin' hate GO PRO.
Go Pro can take their shitty, low- resolution cameras and shove it up their own butt-holes
Jet Lagged and Confused
I'm jet-lagged and have no clue where I am. I'm at the Newbury Port bus station.(???) I lost my phone a few days ago, and it's awkward to travel without a phone. I'm so confused. Though right now, I'm just enjoying the free coffee.
I'm waiting for my brother to pick me up.
I'm waiting for my brother to pick me up.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
The altercation
I was 14 and a loner. At lunch, in a dreamy state, I wandered around my High School.
When I wandered, I wasn't anti-social. I was just bad at being in groups.
One day, I was wondering and a boy gave me a friendly smile. Somehow, he initiated conversation, and we had a very pleasant conversation. I don't recall much about him, other than that he was excessively friendly, and during our conversation, I inwardly wondered why this trait was so rare.
Finally, we wandered to an area of the school that was less crowded, and he told me that he had to go get something from his locker. He pointed to the basement; a basement that was large, dark, completely deserted, and yet, was open to the students. His body language suggested that I follow him.
Instinctively, I sized him up. He was luring me to a deserted location, and so, I looked at him. I looked at him carefully and made a decision. It was a risky calculation, but I decided I could severely hurt him without much effort. He was small and didn't look muscled. I thought, if I have to, I can knock him out with a single punch.
It was stupid of me to be so confident. I rarely got into fights. I didn't like them and generally avoided them at all costs. I had no experience to make this judgement.
So, I knew I was taking a risk by following this guy, but since company his had been so pleasant before, I figured that I'd take the risk.
Well, I followed him into the basement. That part of the school was partially dark and completely deserted. He lead me to a locker at the far corner, and then as soon as he had picked out a locker and somehow cornered me without me being completely aware of it. He turned around and mumbled something to me. It was something like,
" I don't actually have a locker here, I just come here to make out with girls."
I tried to have him re-clarify and was hoping that I misheard him.
Then he asked me, "Can I hug you?"
Being nervous and hoping that this interaction wouldn't lead to any serious conflict, I said, "Uh, sure I guess"
He gave me an awkward hug. I was understanding that the situation was getting tense. The boy, he leaned forward, both his arms learning across the lockers, making a trap for my body. I was cornered between the lockers and his arms. I knew I couldn't escape without going through him,
He asked, "Can I kiss you?"
I said, "No, I'm going to go now" and shook my head. It seemed like my words had echoed off the locker and there was a tension between us. I felt strangely mechanical, like a machine. My emotions were blunt, and my mind was silent. My body was preparing for conflict.
He then leaned forward with his slobbery lips. It was disgusting, and I ducked to evade his kiss. Unfortunately, I ducked to slowly, and he gave me a drooling kiss on my eye. It was gross and horrifically disgusting.
I managed to slide past him. My body was calm, and I don't recall displaying any emotion. My body had the purpose, and I was leaving. Nothing was going to stop me. I slide pass the guy and turned my back on him to leave. The guy jumped onto me. His body on my back and his arms around my neck.
At first, I was surprised, but then my body acted without debate. I body slammed him against a locker. He fell and seized in pain on the floor. I didn't run. I walked away. My steps were steady but forceful. He didn't get off the floor, but he reached for my feet. His intention was to trip me, but he was too weak. He grabbed my ankle and I dragged his body across the floor. When I got to the staircase that provided escape from the basement. I grabbed the railing for extra support and dragged his body up the stairs. He clutched my ankle, and I knew every step stabbed him. I was determined to get to the top of the stairs. I was irritated, and thought how the kids I babysit could put up a better fight than this freak.
When we got to the top of the steps, he let go of my leg, got up and looked at me in disbelief. He was shocked and angry. He told me that destroyed his lunch and the stuff that he had been carrying in his pockets.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I looked at him. I asked "What's wrong with you?". He was lucky I wasn't interested in causing trouble.
When that incident happened, I told no one. I was worried if people had known I had an altercation, it would just cause unnecessary trouble. My friends would try to keep me from wandering off alone. I figured that fighting and common sense was the best way to ensure my freedom. Why tell someone else, when they can't do anything about it anyway.
Better to do your own thing, and royally fuck up the people who try to stop you.
Beyond that, my school was mostly black with a few white people. Racial tension was rife in the community and waiting to explode. I was white. He was black. It was a bomb, that I didn't want to be a part of.
When I wandered, I wasn't anti-social. I was just bad at being in groups.
One day, I was wondering and a boy gave me a friendly smile. Somehow, he initiated conversation, and we had a very pleasant conversation. I don't recall much about him, other than that he was excessively friendly, and during our conversation, I inwardly wondered why this trait was so rare.
Finally, we wandered to an area of the school that was less crowded, and he told me that he had to go get something from his locker. He pointed to the basement; a basement that was large, dark, completely deserted, and yet, was open to the students. His body language suggested that I follow him.
Instinctively, I sized him up. He was luring me to a deserted location, and so, I looked at him. I looked at him carefully and made a decision. It was a risky calculation, but I decided I could severely hurt him without much effort. He was small and didn't look muscled. I thought, if I have to, I can knock him out with a single punch.
It was stupid of me to be so confident. I rarely got into fights. I didn't like them and generally avoided them at all costs. I had no experience to make this judgement.
So, I knew I was taking a risk by following this guy, but since company his had been so pleasant before, I figured that I'd take the risk.
Well, I followed him into the basement. That part of the school was partially dark and completely deserted. He lead me to a locker at the far corner, and then as soon as he had picked out a locker and somehow cornered me without me being completely aware of it. He turned around and mumbled something to me. It was something like,
" I don't actually have a locker here, I just come here to make out with girls."
I tried to have him re-clarify and was hoping that I misheard him.
Then he asked me, "Can I hug you?"
Being nervous and hoping that this interaction wouldn't lead to any serious conflict, I said, "Uh, sure I guess"
He gave me an awkward hug. I was understanding that the situation was getting tense. The boy, he leaned forward, both his arms learning across the lockers, making a trap for my body. I was cornered between the lockers and his arms. I knew I couldn't escape without going through him,
He asked, "Can I kiss you?"
I said, "No, I'm going to go now" and shook my head. It seemed like my words had echoed off the locker and there was a tension between us. I felt strangely mechanical, like a machine. My emotions were blunt, and my mind was silent. My body was preparing for conflict.
He then leaned forward with his slobbery lips. It was disgusting, and I ducked to evade his kiss. Unfortunately, I ducked to slowly, and he gave me a drooling kiss on my eye. It was gross and horrifically disgusting.
I managed to slide past him. My body was calm, and I don't recall displaying any emotion. My body had the purpose, and I was leaving. Nothing was going to stop me. I slide pass the guy and turned my back on him to leave. The guy jumped onto me. His body on my back and his arms around my neck.
At first, I was surprised, but then my body acted without debate. I body slammed him against a locker. He fell and seized in pain on the floor. I didn't run. I walked away. My steps were steady but forceful. He didn't get off the floor, but he reached for my feet. His intention was to trip me, but he was too weak. He grabbed my ankle and I dragged his body across the floor. When I got to the staircase that provided escape from the basement. I grabbed the railing for extra support and dragged his body up the stairs. He clutched my ankle, and I knew every step stabbed him. I was determined to get to the top of the stairs. I was irritated, and thought how the kids I babysit could put up a better fight than this freak.
When we got to the top of the steps, he let go of my leg, got up and looked at me in disbelief. He was shocked and angry. He told me that destroyed his lunch and the stuff that he had been carrying in his pockets.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I looked at him. I asked "What's wrong with you?". He was lucky I wasn't interested in causing trouble.
When that incident happened, I told no one. I was worried if people had known I had an altercation, it would just cause unnecessary trouble. My friends would try to keep me from wandering off alone. I figured that fighting and common sense was the best way to ensure my freedom. Why tell someone else, when they can't do anything about it anyway.
Better to do your own thing, and royally fuck up the people who try to stop you.
Beyond that, my school was mostly black with a few white people. Racial tension was rife in the community and waiting to explode. I was white. He was black. It was a bomb, that I didn't want to be a part of.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Feeling Bad
I can't change it, and I don't want to listen.
I feel too bad and guilty. Before taking a World Beat Class, I was agonizing to the point of tears about talking to my friend Lia. She is a childhood friend, and I know her problems are going to be severe. I also know that I have limited capacity to help her. As a result of this whole process, I'm just going to feel guilty, worthless and awful. So, no more of it.
I don't think Lia can pay her rent, and I don't think it is going to get better. The rents are going to rise, and that rising rent is going to force Lia and her mother out of their place. I don't want that, and I want to help. But I don't know of any long term solution.
It's just awful for Lia and her mom.
I can't stop the process of gentrification. I can't pay Lia's rent. My solution is to give her enough exercise so that maybe she feels better and can think of a viable solution for her and her mom. It's not great, I know, but I do believe exercise can change people's dispositions. Apart from that, I guess I can lend an ear and pray.
Shit, I feel bad.
I feel too bad and guilty. Before taking a World Beat Class, I was agonizing to the point of tears about talking to my friend Lia. She is a childhood friend, and I know her problems are going to be severe. I also know that I have limited capacity to help her. As a result of this whole process, I'm just going to feel guilty, worthless and awful. So, no more of it.
I don't think Lia can pay her rent, and I don't think it is going to get better. The rents are going to rise, and that rising rent is going to force Lia and her mother out of their place. I don't want that, and I want to help. But I don't know of any long term solution.
It's just awful for Lia and her mom.
I can't stop the process of gentrification. I can't pay Lia's rent. My solution is to give her enough exercise so that maybe she feels better and can think of a viable solution for her and her mom. It's not great, I know, but I do believe exercise can change people's dispositions. Apart from that, I guess I can lend an ear and pray.
Shit, I feel bad.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Misplaced Bets (late night idea for some later writing)
In 2035, the world's jobs were replaced with robots. Due to the unavailability of jobs, a great and powerful recession ensued. Material goods were given to the few owners of the world, and the rest of the world was left to starve or receive aid from the great giants of the world. Unfortunately, many people suffered and riots engulfed the world. There was no longer enough jobs to support everyone. A system had to be designed that allowed people to live without working. Since total fairness in the distribution of material goods could not be accepted by the people; purpose was needed to sustain the population's entertainment and self-worth. That purpose was bets. An artificial system, where people have to place bets to survive.
The system was fair. Everyone was given that same amount of credits to buy bets at the age of 17. If the bets were productive, you would ensure your future survival and your gluttony of material goods. If you bets were bad, you would be sentenced to live in a death camp, formally known as a financial adjustment center. Or you could try to live on the streets, fearing and defying the local enforcement agencies.
It became a do or die society. The rich lived well and the poor was given nothing. Older people, who had no sense for the desires of the youth, were placed in specialized facilities that catered to their needs and kept them out of sight. Placing bets emphasized society's bad habits. Prostitution, drugs. fake food, slavery and plastic became a normalized things in this society. Since the the difference in weath was a driving factor, the society could not happen without that difference
The system was fair. Everyone was given that same amount of credits to buy bets at the age of 17. If the bets were productive, you would ensure your future survival and your gluttony of material goods. If you bets were bad, you would be sentenced to live in a death camp, formally known as a financial adjustment center. Or you could try to live on the streets, fearing and defying the local enforcement agencies.
It became a do or die society. The rich lived well and the poor was given nothing. Older people, who had no sense for the desires of the youth, were placed in specialized facilities that catered to their needs and kept them out of sight. Placing bets emphasized society's bad habits. Prostitution, drugs. fake food, slavery and plastic became a normalized things in this society. Since the the difference in weath was a driving factor, the society could not happen without that difference
Training for Climbing
Last night, I took a Training for Climbing class at the climbing gym, Great Western Power Co- Touchstone Climbing in Oakland, CA.
Today, just my hips are sore, and I've never had that experience before. In the class, we did all sorts of crazy moves that involved hip twisting. One move was called 'driving the bus'. You sit like you are about to do a Russian Twist, and then you grab a yoga block with your feet. When the instructor yells "drive the bus left", you turn your hips left. When the instructor yells "drive the bus right", you turn your hips right. What else? We did a lot of variations on the plank by sliding our feet across the floor with slippery pads. We did a lot of Frog Crunches, Leg Lifts, Sit-ups and did a move called the "Eggshell". In the eggshell you take your elbows and you crunch so that your elbows touch your legs. Then your partner takes you by the ankles and moves you from left to right and up and down. Your goal is to keep your legs with your elbows and not break form. It's a great partner exercise and hard to do!
You look like the woman below, but somebody is grabbing at your ankles.
Apart from my sore hips, I can't believe how trendy Oakland has gotten. It's filled with youngsters, who are hip and ready to kick ass. On Monday night, the climbing gym was packed and Down Town Oakland was filled with law abiding citizens. It's weird. I had an exhilarating time biking from my parents house to the gym, but during the whole time that I was riding, I could not believe that I was in in Oakland. I don't even know how much I can break the law anymore, it's crazy.
After my class, I took a shower. (My parent's shower needs work) And then I went to see an old adviser of mine at the Bay Grape. It just happened that her Birthday was that day and cam e to wish her a good birthday. I was treated to a glass of wine, and more importantly the pleasure of her company. It was a pleasant evening, indeed.
Today, just my hips are sore, and I've never had that experience before. In the class, we did all sorts of crazy moves that involved hip twisting. One move was called 'driving the bus'. You sit like you are about to do a Russian Twist, and then you grab a yoga block with your feet. When the instructor yells "drive the bus left", you turn your hips left. When the instructor yells "drive the bus right", you turn your hips right. What else? We did a lot of variations on the plank by sliding our feet across the floor with slippery pads. We did a lot of Frog Crunches, Leg Lifts, Sit-ups and did a move called the "Eggshell". In the eggshell you take your elbows and you crunch so that your elbows touch your legs. Then your partner takes you by the ankles and moves you from left to right and up and down. Your goal is to keep your legs with your elbows and not break form. It's a great partner exercise and hard to do!
You look like the woman below, but somebody is grabbing at your ankles.
(Image Source: https://www.fytso.com/magazine/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/knee-touch-crunch.jpg?c190c9 )
Apart from my sore hips, I can't believe how trendy Oakland has gotten. It's filled with youngsters, who are hip and ready to kick ass. On Monday night, the climbing gym was packed and Down Town Oakland was filled with law abiding citizens. It's weird. I had an exhilarating time biking from my parents house to the gym, but during the whole time that I was riding, I could not believe that I was in in Oakland. I don't even know how much I can break the law anymore, it's crazy.
After my class, I took a shower. (My parent's shower needs work) And then I went to see an old adviser of mine at the Bay Grape. It just happened that her Birthday was that day and cam e to wish her a good birthday. I was treated to a glass of wine, and more importantly the pleasure of her company. It was a pleasant evening, indeed.
Pocket Princess by Amy Mebberson
http://www.amymebberson.com
This is by Amy Mebberson, a skilled and talented comic artist. Her website is up above and an example of her comic is below.
This is by Amy Mebberson, a skilled and talented comic artist. Her website is up above and an example of her comic is below.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
SHerlock: The abominable Bride
Downtown Abbey
The is made by Masterpiece Cinema on PBS. My dad is a fan, and this is not my picture. YOu can watch this show on the PBS website.
Extra Dimensions (cARTOON)
I saw this on PBS as a special called Particle Fever. This clip is a short cartoon explaining extra dimensions and is worth the watch. I found this video on http://www.pbs.org/show/particle-fever/
The Higgs Boson Explained (Cartoon)
This is a cartoon that attempts to explain the Higgs Boson. It is a PBS special and can be found at http://www.pbs.org/show/particle-fever/. It's great stuff, and if you are into particle physics, you won't waste your time watching this video.
Dark Matters (Cartoon)
This is a cartoon that explains Dark Matter. Who doesn't like dark matter? Anyways, if you are interested in this, it is part of a PBS Special called particle fever and can be found http://www.pbs.org/show/particle-fever/.
Particle Fever
This is a documentary called Particle Fever. Take the time, watch it and know that PBS brought it to you. http://www.pbs.org/show/particle-fever/.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Oakland: Man shot to death on BART train
This is an article that was produced by the Contra Costa Times, and the link will take you to the article. The picture is by the Contra Costa Times.
This article was interesting because I was at this Bart Station 12 hours before this happened.
Sneaky (nb:1/9/2015)
In the dark, it's hard to navigate my parent's house. I keep tripping over junk. As a teenager, I was excellent at it. Now, not so much. I keep waking my parents up, with my habitual crashing.
Once upon a time, I used to sneak around my current household but then, one of my housemates who no longer lives there, woke up. He ran outside naked, wild, with an ax and swinging. When he saw it was me, he stopped and muttered how I should walk louder. Now, I walk louder.
Strangely, I miss that Jerk.
Once upon a time, I used to sneak around my current household but then, one of my housemates who no longer lives there, woke up. He ran outside naked, wild, with an ax and swinging. When he saw it was me, he stopped and muttered how I should walk louder. Now, I walk louder.
Strangely, I miss that Jerk.
Snowshoeing Workshop
Wow! I actually made it to the Tacoma Program Center!! And half of my directions were wrong!
Here are my Notes:
Basic Snowshoeing 2016
To earn the valuable Mountaineer Badge you have to
Go on and Easy+ Trip
Do one Conservation Activity (Check with Kathryn Fox and Elwha stuff)
Snowshoes: Types and Characteristics
Historical interlude: 6,000 years ago in central Asia, the snowshoe was born.
(Image of Historical Snowshoe and modern Snowshoe)
Here are my Notes:
Basic Snowshoeing 2016
To earn the valuable Mountaineer Badge you have to
Go on and Easy+ Trip
Do one Conservation Activity (Check with Kathryn Fox and Elwha stuff)
Snowshoes: Types and Characteristics
Historical interlude: 6,000 years ago in central Asia, the snowshoe was born.
(Image of Historical Snowshoe and modern Snowshoe)
(Oddly enough, this image is property of Subaru at http://drive2.subaru.com/Win11/_images/snowshoe_diagram.jpg)
To deal with Sliding, you have crampons. A lot of snowshoes have aluminum frames with a deck that is neoprene or plastic. Be careful with certain kinds of plastic decks, the plastic can sometimes be brittle. Snowshoe length has an Optimal size for weight.
(This image is from Sierra Trading Post- http://www.sierratradingpost.com/lp2/snowshoe-guide/)
Since this figure includes the weight of a pack, I'd guess that I'd be a 30". Apparently since the northwest has cascade cement snow and the terrain is not flat, the instructor recommends smaller snowshoes for more control. He recommends a 25" for hiking in the Northwest.
Apparently, you can rent Snowshoes at Sports Authority for $10. That is what I am going to do,
Instructor recommends buying the snowshoes and poles. He says you can get a good deal for both, that will cost around $80. I'm still going to buy.
Crampons are very important, and it is very important that you avoid cupped crampons like the plague.
Before going out, make a check list of items that you need.
Clothing: Base Layer, Puffy Jacket, Nylon Pants, Rain Pants with zip on Side.
Sunglasses, Sunscreen, Wool Socks and Gaters
Need to Desperately look at Pack and Clothing items
Boots- Hiking Boots - Keeping the ones that I have
When packing, be prepared for emergency camping outside.Have a pad for sitting and space blanket/ Bivy. Have spare socks and Spare plastic Bags.
For day pack, try to get a 40-45 liter pack.
Poles? You got poles, check if you can put some snow baskets on it. Too late to return my poles and too expensive to get new ones- gotta work with what I got.
Fuck being unprepared! Mt Si sucked with snow, but I want to go again. This time, I want to have the proper equipment. (I just had the image of a maxi pad commercial doing pan shots of women's butts hiking up mountains. "For maximum terrain, for maximum coverage, pick maxi pads --stupid commercials infecting my brain)
Snowshoeing Travel Techniques
uphill
step-kicking
traversing slopes
downhill travel (my problem child)
plunge stepping
The complicated art of turning
Basic Avalanche Info & Weather Reports
Danger Zone: High Pressure and Clockwise Wind
NWAC- Northwest Avalanche Center is a good resource
Consider taking a Avalanche Awareness Course - Mountaineers has a course/Rei
watch for pinwheels and roller balls
3 things needed to make an avalanche
unstable snow
35 degree and above slope
a trigger (humans, weather)
cool device- protractor for hiking poles
Make sure to print out Booklet
Even for Day Trips, make lists and weigh stuff out
Focus a little more on gear maintenance
My personal Mountaineers Motto " We All Make Bad Decisions, it's part of life. "
Easy 0-500ft elevation gain 6mi
Easy+ 500-2000ft Elevation Gain 10mi
23rd Field Trip - Also watch out, a moonlight trip may be coming up.
23rd Jan 7:30am - Bring all Gear and Plan to be Wet
Shocker ( nb- date not written)
I'm often shocked when a guy hits on me. I hit 25, gained a lot of weight and then it was like falling off the edge of the universe. Being an ugly woman in a society that values only young, beautiful women is like transcending into another dimensional plane. You are there, but then again, you're not.
So when a guy notices me, it's crazy. I usually think something is wrong with him - His head.
Some of my senior lady friends, I tell them to commit crimes -- because who's going to notice?
Tomorrow (1/7/2016- nb)
Tomorrow, I'm going home to my parent's house.
My goal is to spend some quality time with my parents and to also avoid excitement; that means no bar fights, no attending the black panther church, no late night walking through questionable neighborhoods and no playing therapist to mentally deranged homeless guys. I'm going home, and I'm going to have clean, wholesome fun. Such as sitting at whole foods pondering how I'm going to eat, listening to Lia complain, going to Rebecca's B-day party and sleeping on the couch.
Damn it, I'm going to be a respectable adult!
My goal is to spend some quality time with my parents and to also avoid excitement; that means no bar fights, no attending the black panther church, no late night walking through questionable neighborhoods and no playing therapist to mentally deranged homeless guys. I'm going home, and I'm going to have clean, wholesome fun. Such as sitting at whole foods pondering how I'm going to eat, listening to Lia complain, going to Rebecca's B-day party and sleeping on the couch.
Damn it, I'm going to be a respectable adult!
1/4/2016-1/8/2015 Workouts
Bootcamp
124/69 69 before workout ( had an energy drink)
130/73 97 after workout (1:56 minutes)
Fun: Buru Burpee
Hard: Trx Workout
Ran before a date ---8:21 minutes for one mile. (!!!!)
1/5/2016
HardCore Class
115/67 63 before workout
121/69 83 after workout (1 minute 16 secs)
Hard: A weird variation on the Row
Crunches with Legs moving
Fun: Plank with Elbow, Shoulder, Knee, Hip and Foot touches
I thought I had another class but I can't find any record of it. Sam and I went to a Parkour class. Am I thinking of that? Oh well, records are not perfect.
Checking Blood Pressure at Other Machines
128/77 58
138/78 67 Screen American Wellness
1/8/2016
130/ 69 63 (!!!!-Stressed?-going to parents house today)
Ran 1 mile in 8 minutes 52 seconds -eh, 9 minutes
I needed that run.
Personal Note: For me the 8 minute mile is the elusive unicorn in the forest. I suspect I can do it, but I don't know what force on Heaven or Earth can motivate me to move my ass that much.
124/69 69 before workout ( had an energy drink)
130/73 97 after workout (1:56 minutes)
Fun: Buru Burpee
Hard: Trx Workout
Ran before a date ---8:21 minutes for one mile. (!!!!)
1/5/2016
HardCore Class
115/67 63 before workout
121/69 83 after workout (1 minute 16 secs)
Hard: A weird variation on the Row
Crunches with Legs moving
Fun: Plank with Elbow, Shoulder, Knee, Hip and Foot touches
I thought I had another class but I can't find any record of it. Sam and I went to a Parkour class. Am I thinking of that? Oh well, records are not perfect.
Checking Blood Pressure at Other Machines
128/77 58
138/78 67 Screen American Wellness
1/8/2016
130/ 69 63 (!!!!-Stressed?-going to parents house today)
Ran 1 mile in 8 minutes 52 seconds -eh, 9 minutes
I needed that run.
Personal Note: For me the 8 minute mile is the elusive unicorn in the forest. I suspect I can do it, but I don't know what force on Heaven or Earth can motivate me to move my ass that much.
INTP Personality or is it INFP? (12/31/2015- nb)
Apparently, according to the test here, I have the logician personality or sometimes I have a INFP-T personality, which is the mediator. It's flattering, but I don't believe in these tests.
TURKISH POACHED EGGS IN YOGURT (CILBIR)
The is image is from Saveur.com and the website will show you a recipe of how to make Turkish Poached Eggs in Yogurt.
It looks so good. I want to have this for breakfast sometime!!!
Complaining (12/29/2015 - nb)
Today, I have horrible intestinal problems, but this is one of the few days that Sam and I are off together. The result- constant complaining.
The Cobbler
Friday, January 8, 2016
Will real-time data for consumers lead to healthier living? (PBS NEWSHOUR)
This is a PBS Newshour Segment that I find interesting.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
This is from KQED, and the original source of this video is https://www.youtube.com/embed/UTMdqhMNHmA. As you can see, I'm a fan of public broadcasting. I took an adult beginner class at the Alonza King Lines Dance Center, and I was awful at it. The instructor didn't kick me out, but did tell me in detail, how to sign up for the getting started series. Unfortunately, I moved before I could take advantage of that. ..God, and that was when I was in better shape.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
Armed activists take over Oregon federal wildlife refuge
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/armed-activists-take-over-oregon-federal-wildlife-refuge/#.Vorgizb5duo.blogger
Sunday, January 3, 2016
How To Read A 223-Page Novel In Just 77 Minutes
http://www.readmei.com/
http://spritzinc.com/get-spritz
Reusable, sugar-based polymer purifies water fast
What Happens to Your Body When You Stop Eating Sugar
You need to be determined and disciplined and here are a few things you can do to help you overcome these cravings:
- Eat sour foods. Sour foods, like apple cider vinegar, will naturally curb your cravings for sugar.
- Eat fermented foods and probiotic beverages. They are full of beneficial bacteria, which drive out disease-causing bugs that increase our desire for sugar.
livingtraditionally.com/happens-body-stop-eating-sugar1
Seeing Like a ‘Sea Gypsy’: An Anarchist History of Hong Kong
www.comparativist.org/seeing-like-a-tankan-an-anarchist-history-of-hong-kong
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Venting before Bed
Urg, I feel tired. I thought I was going to lose my mind at work and start yelling. I almost did. I'm going to sleep now.
8 WAYS TO GO BRALESS WHEN YOU HAVE BIG BOOBS
http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/8-ways-to-go-braless-when-you-have-big-boobs/
New Years 2016
New Years was lovely. I went with my friends and explored Seattle for 7 hours. The night was cold, but we brought jackets and kept walking. Notable activities included the bookstore, eating chicken pot pie, having drinks, riding the Ferris Wheel, and watching the fireworks.
Since photography has been my life lately, I decided to indulge in some late night photos.
I know the photos are pointless, but I like the act of documentation. It gives me a sense of purpose and tantalizes my visual palette.
Being from California, I did not expect the fireworks to be fired directly from the space needle. They were, and it was absolutely shocking and exhilarating.
Finally, we had food and drink. We indulged, but didn't spoil the night with our insatiable appetites.
I had a chicken pot pie, and it was the most glorious concoction of cream, carrots, chicken and crust that I've ever had. Every bite was orgasmic and while eating it, I was in pure bliss. ...Absolute, pure bliss.
Anyways, Happy New Years!! May the New Year have good drink, hardy play and
delicious chicken pot pie.
Friday, January 1, 2016
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